Chose Faith Not Fear

Hello, everybody! It sure has been awhile since my last post. Some of you may have wondered if the truckin' duo fell off the face of the earth or were abducted by aliens. Well, we didn't fall off the face of the earth but being abducted by aliens could be debatable. I am sure with the things I say and do, at times, Carl thinks the same thing. But anywho... we just went through a few changes this summer. The truckin' duo went from being Carl and Lynne to Carl and Timothy...yep...I got kicked out of the truck, but baby I'm back.

Since Timothy was a little boy he's wanted to buy a truck and hit the road. His dream has finally come true. He's had his CDL's and has been driving a truck for 6 years but he didn't have any long haul experience. So...he kicked me out...he got in...and for 4 1/2 months he did his training under Carl. They became the new truckin' duo. I sure wish I could have been a fly in the truck during those months. We had several people to ask us why I didn't go with them. REALLY!!! Carl, Timothy, me and Spice all in one truck...I DON'T THINK SO!!

Timothy's new truck

What in the world did I do during those months at home by myself? I spent time with family and friends. When it wasn't raining (which wasn't very often), I enjoyed sunning by the pool. I also learned to somewhat enjoy mowing the yard. I am still trying to figure out how and why most of the ladies in my Sunday School class and my sisters find it relaxing. There is nothing relaxing about spending 2 hours in a dust storm...can't see...can't breath...and every little inch of my body is covered in dust. Yeah, that is real relaxing! But I must say putting in my ear phones and listening to Christian music on my Pandora did help a little...I mean a VERY little. I also started making rustic hand painted signs out of old pieces of wood. Carl and Timothy fixed me up a little shop which I named "Country Blessings". You can see some of my work here; https://www.facebook.com/rustichandmadesigns.  Overall, I just tried to keep myself very, very  busy. It would have been extremely easy for me to curl up in a ball and let depression set in for those several months. Being away from Carl is always a difficult thing for me to handle. I've told you before how I wish he had a pocket to carry me in. I would be perfectly happy perched up there. He just laughs when I tell him that...not so sure if it's a good laugh or a bad laugh. (Just a little side note..as I read this to Carlos, he started laughing...still not sure!)  But this time, I also had to deal with being separated from Timothy and getting myself use to the idea of him traveling the country by himself. Just not real wild about him off in Timbuktu all alone. 

 During my time at home we had a series of Sunday School lessons on Fearless by Max Lucado. Oh my goodness! What perfect timing. When the lessons started I was letting my fears about Timothy getting in his truck and traveling across the country alone consume me. I know! You're thinking "Goodness, Lynne! He's 24!" Yes, he is but he's still my baby and my baby he'll always be! We all deal with fears everyday but how we deal with them makes all the difference in the world. We can let our fears suck the life right out of us or we can have faith in Christ to overcome our fears. No, it  wasn't a coincidence that what I was struggling with would also be my Sunday School lesson for the next several weeks. It was a God thing! His timing for everything is always perfect! I am really bad about not letting God take control of my fears and worries after I have prayed and asked for His help. I pray and tell Him that I am giving all my worries over to Him but then I still worry. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." Philippians 4:6. That is a verse that I have to pray quite often.  I have always had faith and I know that no matter how big or small the fear may be that Christ is always right by my side to see me through. Sometimes it just takes me a little longer to get to that point than it should. These lessons just helped reinforce God's love, strength, comfort, and support that He has for me.. for us all. I already knew all that but I just needed to hear it again and I needed it at that very moment. Let Go and Let God! That's what I had to do. After I prayed and put Timothy and his safety in the hands of God...and yes, I really did it this time; I felt so much better. Fear and happiness can not live together in the same body. Finally, moving ahead and feeling much better then WHAM! A health scare. It was a holiday weekend and it would be at least 4 days before I could see the doctor. My mind went crazy.  I prayed about it and would feel good about the situation and then slowly one thought after another and all the what ifs began to overwhelm me. Fear/Satan was creeping his way back in and I was letting him. And once again, the Lord used my Sunday School lesson to speak to me. It was on Fear and Faith. As always...perfect timing!  Max Lucado  said, "Fear will always knock on your door. Just don't invite it in for dinner. And for heaven's sake, don't offer it a bed for the night." When I read this I had already opened the door and let fear in.  I even let it come in for dinner and stay for a few nights before I was able to see the doctor. After a couple of doctor appointments and each one telling me they didn't think there was anything to worry about, I got a call telling me they were referring me to another doctor. Once again, I opened the door and let fear in, but this time I only let it in for a very quick breakfast and I certainly did not let it spend the night. Then I get a phone call about a completely separate test that came back abnormal. "REALLY! What is the deal?" Praise the Lord that He has power over fear.  I remembered what Max Lucado said about not letting fear in and this time I refused to let it in all.  Matthew 8:23-27 tells us the story of when Jesus calmed the storm. He and his disciples were in a boat when a furious storm came up. Waves were crashing over the side of the boat...the disciples were terrified and Jesus...well, He was sleeping. The disciples yelled out for help and for Him to save them. He woke up and asked, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves and it became completely calm. Jesus didn't immediately calm the storm. He waited for them to call out to Him. That's what He wants all of us to do...that's what He wanted me to do...call out to Him.  Once I called out to Him my faith in Him took control of all my fears. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. It takes a possible threat and blows it way out of proportion. It turns logical thinking into irrational behavior and turns our emotions completely upside. Choose faith over fear and trust over doubt...that is what I had to do.  I am so thankful to know that when my focus shifted from Christ that His focus was...is...and will always be on me...waiting on me to call out to Him...waiting to grab my hand and lead me through the storm to overcome my fears.

I am always amazed at how the Lord puts people, devotions, Sunday School lessons, songs. letters, and just simple words of inspiration in our path at just the appropriate time. Phillips, Craig & Dean's "I Chose to Believe" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsskLzx-4fQ ; Natalie Grant's "Hurricane" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttKnLwwHlig and Casting Crowns' "Praise you in this Storm" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ  Those are just a few of the songs that helped me out. Most importantly was Carl being at home when this 4 week journey began. He was unable to stay home the whole 4 weeks but each time I had a doctor's appointment the Lord made sure that he was able to be right by my side. What a blessing that was! Everything turned out fine. In fact, when I went to the last doctor there were no signs of anything. It was gone! Yes, it was all God! The morning of my last appointment Carl prayed and before we got out of the car he looked at me and said, "Everything will be just fine and if it's not...we will get through it...together! I am so blessed to have him in my life. I still have another health issue that has to be checked on in a few months but I have put it in the hands of the Lord and I know everything will be fine. I chose happiness, joy and peace. I have closed and locked the door to fear. It is not coming in again!

Fear is and will always be around us. Fear of losing our job, fear of our child going off to college or starting kindergarten. While I was battling my fear of Timothy hitting the road alone, a friend of mine was dealing with her fear of her daughter starting middle school. We have health fears, fear of losing a loved one; losing our home to a fire; fear of being robbed. Fear, fear, fear it is everywhere.           

 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear." Christ is well aware of all the fears in our lives and how quickly it can sneak in and take control of our mind, our thoughts, our feelings and emotions. That is why Christ tells us over and over in the bible "do not be afraid"...not just one time or 2-3 times but many many times. "Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 
Isaiah 41:10.

Into His hands I lay the fears that haunt me,

The dread of future ills that may befall;

Into His hands I lay the doubts that taunt me,

And rest securely, trusting Him for all. —Christiansen

Til We Meet Again!

Only by Grace!
      Lynne