Let Your Tears Flow

After months and months of searching, Timothy finally found a good used truck.  Well, I kinda found it for him. Would you believe he sent me on a mission to look at a truck in Birmingham, AL. He and Carl were on their way to California when he called and said he found a truck and that he wanted me to go check it out. WHAT?!?! "You want me to go check out a semi truck for you and make the decision of putting down a deposit?" "Yes, you can do it. I have faith in you." After sweet talking my parents into going with me, we all loaded up and headed up to Birmingham. Daddy inspected the outside and I inspected the inside. We must have done a pretty good job because Timothy is now the proud owner of a 2007 Peterbilt and is one happy fella! I don't think he'll ever stop smiling.

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Since Timothy wouldn't let me go with him in his truck, I seriously considered traveling as a stow away. I searched and searched to try and find the perfect hiding spot but he had every little crook and cranny filled with "stuff".  Since I couldn't go as a stow away, I told Carl that we would just have to get 2 loads going in the same direction...you know, so I could see for myself how he handled the busy cities and heavy traffic.  He said he wanted us to all go together on the first couple of loads anyway so he could make sure his truck was going to do ok. He really just wanted his mama with him! And of course I was more than happy to oblige!

Off to Oklahoma we went and then to New Jersey. Wait..."New Jersey...Carl, isn't that one of the states you and Timothy said ya'll did not want to go to?" "I know, I know! I heard 2 loads and same direction so I took it." Just in case you haven't read any of my previous posts....We DO NOT  LIKE working the east coast north of Virginia. The roads are too narrow...too much traffic...toll roads EVERYWHERE and they are not cheap...the signs don't make sense and well...it just isn't the same as the south and the west!

Timothy only had one drop off in New Jersey but we had 3 different drop offs and 2 of them were near the Jersey Shore...yay us! When the contact person for each drop off said, "I'll meet you at such and such spot and lead you in because there are some tricky turns," we knew we were in for an interesting day! While traveling to the second drop off, which was right on the Jersey Shore, Carl told me to make sure I took all the pictures I wanted because we would NOT be coming back. After getting drops 1 and 2 off without any problems we just knew we had it whooped. Yeah right! The last drop should have been the easiest...but...well, lets just say it was a royal pain! When Carl called to get directions, the man told him to take Exit 14 but didn't know which one...14, 14a, 14b or 14c. Well, according to the signs we needed 14c...WRONG! As we were crossing a bridge I said, "Look! There's the Empire State Building!" As we came off the bridge Carl said, "And if you look to your right you can see the Statue of Liberty!" Then our hearts stopped...straight in front of us were the toll booths, Jersey City and the Holland Tunnel. I don't think Carl has ever dialed a telephone number so fast in his life. "Are we going to be going into the city? Well, I am sitting here looking at the toll booths. Alright, I'll do something." Very irritated and disgusted, Carl said, "He told me we went too far. We should have gotten off at exit 14 and they are not going to wait on us. We are going to have to spend the night on their yard and unload tomorrow." "Well, if they'd given us the right directions to begin with we wouldn't be in this mess. Now I won't get to see Timothy tonight." Laughing and trying to make me feel better Carl said, "You wanted to tour New York anyway!" "Not like this! Not in a semi-truck! What are we going to do? How are we going to get turned around?" "That guy wanted me to see if the toll booth worker would let us make a U-turn." "Are you kidding me...a U-turn? Does he really think we can make a U-turn in all this traffic in this big truck?" We have toured New York City before...in a car...and on foot. The roads and traffic are crazy ridiculous and Jersey City...well...the roads and traffic are very similar to New York City. My heart was beating a hundred miles per hour...my hands were sweaty...and I had the strongest death grip on my chair. Carl... he looked cool as a cucumber! That is the reason he is the driver of LC and I'm not. After paying $12.50 to go through the toll booth, we went to the first red light turned left and went right back out. "Thank you Lord!"

If there's water, then I have to put my feet in it
The Jersey Shore

This area was badly damaged by Hurricane Sandy

Three days after the new owners bought this restaurant Hurricane Sandy came and
 completely destroyed it. It is still in the rebuilding process. 

Look beyond the building and you will see the Statue of Liberty

Jersey City

 Finally, we made it to our final stop. Carl parked the truck on the side of the street so he could go check out where we needed to park...I called Timothy to tell him we wouldn't be at the truck stop tonight and as I am on the phone with Timothy I look up and see Carl running back to the truck. "Toot here comes Daddy...he's running!" "Running!" "Something must be up. I'll call you back in a little bit." Now for those of you that know Carl are probably thinking the same thing Timothy was saying...Running!! Carl never runs...he hardly ever even walks fast. Run and hurry are just not in his vocabulary. He reminds me of the story "The Hare and the Tortoise"...slow and steady wins the race. Oh yeah, the reason he was running..."Los, what's going on!" "He's still here... unloading the last truck now. He'll unload us but he's leaving at 6:30...finished or not. So, we have to work fast." People it was 6:10. We had 20 minutes and let me just say...slow and steady went out the window!  We got it all off right at 6:30. I don't think we've ever unloaded equipment that fast and yes we made it back to the truck stop and I got to eat supper with my two main men! Yes...I was a happy, happy girl!

Happy girl...sad girl! Timothy is now traveling the wild blue yonder on his own. Before he left he kept asking me if I was going to be ok. He and Carl both knew the water works were on their way. Having a good cry is not something I have trouble with. Tears of joy...tears of sadness...tears of amazement...tears of frustration...you name it and I shed tears for it.  Watching him drive off was like watching him drive out of the drive way for the first time when he was 16. As I watched him drive away I remembered a verse from a devotion that I had recently read, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8.  Wow! Christ even cares about my tears. I've never really thought about that before. I know He cares about everything in our lives and everything we go through but I've never really thought about our tears.   Just as He knows every hair on my head; He knows every tear that has ever been shed and He has collected them in His bottle.  I must say though; He has a lot and I mean a lot of bottles filled with just my tears. When we see a loved one crying and hurting our heart aches for them. We want to hold them and make their pain go away. The same thing is true for Christ. When He sees our tears He feels our pain. Not only does He collect our tears in His bottle but He records them in His book. That just takes my breath away knowing that my tears have also been recorded in the book of my Lord and Savior.  Psalm 34:15 says, "The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry."  When Christ sees our tears and hears our cries He is right there for us. He prays for us. He holds us. He comforts us. He gives us peace. He wipes our tears away.

Yes, my friends I did shed quite a few tears that day. I didn't have an emotional break down like I had thought I might and that I had warned Carlos about but I did have a really good cry. They were not so much tears of sadness but also tears of joy and excitement. Timothy has always dreamed of owning his own truck, being his own boss and traveling the country.  His dream has come true so you see...my tears were filled with every kind of emotion you can think of. But one thing is for sure...as each tear of sadness was shed, Christ felt my pain and prayed for me and as each tear of joy and excitement was shed, Christ smiled and rejoiced with me. And as each tear was shed, He collected that tear and put it in His bottle that I believe has "Lynne's Tears" written on it.

Let your tears flow!

Til we meet again,
     Lynne

Chose Faith Not Fear

Hello, everybody! It sure has been awhile since my last post. Some of you may have wondered if the truckin' duo fell off the face of the earth or were abducted by aliens. Well, we didn't fall off the face of the earth but being abducted by aliens could be debatable. I am sure with the things I say and do, at times, Carl thinks the same thing. But anywho... we just went through a few changes this summer. The truckin' duo went from being Carl and Lynne to Carl and Timothy...yep...I got kicked out of the truck, but baby I'm back.

Since Timothy was a little boy he's wanted to buy a truck and hit the road. His dream has finally come true. He's had his CDL's and has been driving a truck for 6 years but he didn't have any long haul experience. So...he kicked me out...he got in...and for 4 1/2 months he did his training under Carl. They became the new truckin' duo. I sure wish I could have been a fly in the truck during those months. We had several people to ask us why I didn't go with them. REALLY!!! Carl, Timothy, me and Spice all in one truck...I DON'T THINK SO!!

Timothy's new truck

What in the world did I do during those months at home by myself? I spent time with family and friends. When it wasn't raining (which wasn't very often), I enjoyed sunning by the pool. I also learned to somewhat enjoy mowing the yard. I am still trying to figure out how and why most of the ladies in my Sunday School class and my sisters find it relaxing. There is nothing relaxing about spending 2 hours in a dust storm...can't see...can't breath...and every little inch of my body is covered in dust. Yeah, that is real relaxing! But I must say putting in my ear phones and listening to Christian music on my Pandora did help a little...I mean a VERY little. I also started making rustic hand painted signs out of old pieces of wood. Carl and Timothy fixed me up a little shop which I named "Country Blessings". You can see some of my work here; https://www.facebook.com/rustichandmadesigns.  Overall, I just tried to keep myself very, very  busy. It would have been extremely easy for me to curl up in a ball and let depression set in for those several months. Being away from Carl is always a difficult thing for me to handle. I've told you before how I wish he had a pocket to carry me in. I would be perfectly happy perched up there. He just laughs when I tell him that...not so sure if it's a good laugh or a bad laugh. (Just a little side note..as I read this to Carlos, he started laughing...still not sure!)  But this time, I also had to deal with being separated from Timothy and getting myself use to the idea of him traveling the country by himself. Just not real wild about him off in Timbuktu all alone. 

 During my time at home we had a series of Sunday School lessons on Fearless by Max Lucado. Oh my goodness! What perfect timing. When the lessons started I was letting my fears about Timothy getting in his truck and traveling across the country alone consume me. I know! You're thinking "Goodness, Lynne! He's 24!" Yes, he is but he's still my baby and my baby he'll always be! We all deal with fears everyday but how we deal with them makes all the difference in the world. We can let our fears suck the life right out of us or we can have faith in Christ to overcome our fears. No, it  wasn't a coincidence that what I was struggling with would also be my Sunday School lesson for the next several weeks. It was a God thing! His timing for everything is always perfect! I am really bad about not letting God take control of my fears and worries after I have prayed and asked for His help. I pray and tell Him that I am giving all my worries over to Him but then I still worry. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." Philippians 4:6. That is a verse that I have to pray quite often.  I have always had faith and I know that no matter how big or small the fear may be that Christ is always right by my side to see me through. Sometimes it just takes me a little longer to get to that point than it should. These lessons just helped reinforce God's love, strength, comfort, and support that He has for me.. for us all. I already knew all that but I just needed to hear it again and I needed it at that very moment. Let Go and Let God! That's what I had to do. After I prayed and put Timothy and his safety in the hands of God...and yes, I really did it this time; I felt so much better. Fear and happiness can not live together in the same body. Finally, moving ahead and feeling much better then WHAM! A health scare. It was a holiday weekend and it would be at least 4 days before I could see the doctor. My mind went crazy.  I prayed about it and would feel good about the situation and then slowly one thought after another and all the what ifs began to overwhelm me. Fear/Satan was creeping his way back in and I was letting him. And once again, the Lord used my Sunday School lesson to speak to me. It was on Fear and Faith. As always...perfect timing!  Max Lucado  said, "Fear will always knock on your door. Just don't invite it in for dinner. And for heaven's sake, don't offer it a bed for the night." When I read this I had already opened the door and let fear in.  I even let it come in for dinner and stay for a few nights before I was able to see the doctor. After a couple of doctor appointments and each one telling me they didn't think there was anything to worry about, I got a call telling me they were referring me to another doctor. Once again, I opened the door and let fear in, but this time I only let it in for a very quick breakfast and I certainly did not let it spend the night. Then I get a phone call about a completely separate test that came back abnormal. "REALLY! What is the deal?" Praise the Lord that He has power over fear.  I remembered what Max Lucado said about not letting fear in and this time I refused to let it in all.  Matthew 8:23-27 tells us the story of when Jesus calmed the storm. He and his disciples were in a boat when a furious storm came up. Waves were crashing over the side of the boat...the disciples were terrified and Jesus...well, He was sleeping. The disciples yelled out for help and for Him to save them. He woke up and asked, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves and it became completely calm. Jesus didn't immediately calm the storm. He waited for them to call out to Him. That's what He wants all of us to do...that's what He wanted me to do...call out to Him.  Once I called out to Him my faith in Him took control of all my fears. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. It takes a possible threat and blows it way out of proportion. It turns logical thinking into irrational behavior and turns our emotions completely upside. Choose faith over fear and trust over doubt...that is what I had to do.  I am so thankful to know that when my focus shifted from Christ that His focus was...is...and will always be on me...waiting on me to call out to Him...waiting to grab my hand and lead me through the storm to overcome my fears.

I am always amazed at how the Lord puts people, devotions, Sunday School lessons, songs. letters, and just simple words of inspiration in our path at just the appropriate time. Phillips, Craig & Dean's "I Chose to Believe" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsskLzx-4fQ ; Natalie Grant's "Hurricane" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttKnLwwHlig and Casting Crowns' "Praise you in this Storm" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ  Those are just a few of the songs that helped me out. Most importantly was Carl being at home when this 4 week journey began. He was unable to stay home the whole 4 weeks but each time I had a doctor's appointment the Lord made sure that he was able to be right by my side. What a blessing that was! Everything turned out fine. In fact, when I went to the last doctor there were no signs of anything. It was gone! Yes, it was all God! The morning of my last appointment Carl prayed and before we got out of the car he looked at me and said, "Everything will be just fine and if it's not...we will get through it...together! I am so blessed to have him in my life. I still have another health issue that has to be checked on in a few months but I have put it in the hands of the Lord and I know everything will be fine. I chose happiness, joy and peace. I have closed and locked the door to fear. It is not coming in again!

Fear is and will always be around us. Fear of losing our job, fear of our child going off to college or starting kindergarten. While I was battling my fear of Timothy hitting the road alone, a friend of mine was dealing with her fear of her daughter starting middle school. We have health fears, fear of losing a loved one; losing our home to a fire; fear of being robbed. Fear, fear, fear it is everywhere.           

 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear." Christ is well aware of all the fears in our lives and how quickly it can sneak in and take control of our mind, our thoughts, our feelings and emotions. That is why Christ tells us over and over in the bible "do not be afraid"...not just one time or 2-3 times but many many times. "Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 
Isaiah 41:10.

Into His hands I lay the fears that haunt me,

The dread of future ills that may befall;

Into His hands I lay the doubts that taunt me,

And rest securely, trusting Him for all. —Christiansen

Til We Meet Again!

Only by Grace!
      Lynne